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I really like who I am. And I really like aging... If it didn't lead to death, it would be perfect. Eve Ensler , 51 / NY Post - quoted in AARP Bulletin, Dec 2004 books : The Good Body - by Eve Ensler Vagina Warriors - by Eve Ensler, Joyce Tenneson (photographer)

 

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Larry King : So you were a late in life start? Dominick Dunne : Fifty. That's -- I never wrote a word until I was 50. I got published when I was 53 for the first time. And I got a terrible review in "The New York Times," and... Larry King : Did that depress you? Dominick Dunne : No. Because -- I'm very sensitive. I get hurt by things like that. But I thought, "Listen, I'm 53 years old. I got a book published. I got reviewed in 'The New York Times.' This is what -- I did this." Larry King : And that book sold well, right? Dominick Dunne : Not that first one. But then came "The Two Mrs. Grenvilles."

.. .. > Larry King Live December 22, 2004 > books : Vanity Fair's Hollywood - by Graydon Carter, David Friend, Dominick Dunne Justice : Crimes, Trials, and Punishments - by Dominick Dunne

related pages :....intensity / sensitivity......writing

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Staying young is very overrated in our culture. I think we are meant to hang around and grow and change. And if you don't live life in order to change, grow old and die, which is what happens to those of us that are lucky, then what are you doing? //  [She says that nowadays she's much more comfortable speaking her mind than she used to be.]  I feel less obliged to protect any made-up version of myself. When you're young, you want to make a good impression in Hollywood. But I've kind of moved on from caring very much about other peoples' judgments of me." Tyne Daly  [far left, with her "Judging Amy" costar Amy Brenneman] > from article Tyne Daly:Telling It How It Is - by Caroline Ryder, Westside Today / 90210 Nov 2004

..related pages :....body image....social reactions / interactions

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.. .. Sidney Sheldon is imposingly tall, but now gaunt and pale. Is he in good health? "Absolutely. In February, I'll be 88. But my mind is young. I have trouble remembering things, except when I'm writing. Then everything is crystal clear." Indeed, his new book, Are You Afraid of the Dark?, has the same zip as his others. A roller-coaster mystery with surprisingly clever twists and turns whisked in with plenty of glamour, international intrigue and heavy breathing. It will undoubtedly be read just as popcorn is eaten at the movies: compulsively, unstoppably. Until there is no more left. "Sidney's at the top of his game," says Sheldon's literary agent, Mort Janklow, who also represents such folks as Tom Wolfe, Michael Crichton and the pope. "This new novel is as good as he's written in 20 years. Reading it, you have no idea this wasn't written by a younger man."

Yes, but how does an 87-year-old maintain currency in an era when trends seem to shift with each wind and emphasis is so much on the young and the new? "Sidney's longevity secret is that he is a great storyteller, a master of the narrative tale. Readers care about his characters, many of whom are women under threat. He has an instinctive ability to read women's emotions." Those basic emotions -- love, lust, fear -- have not changed since Lot's wife turned into a pillar of salt.  And because Sheldon wastes no space describing places and things that might date him, his narratives are rather timeless in a fantastic, James Bondian way. "He amazes me," says Sheldon's editor at HarperCollins, Maureen O'Brien. She "inherited" the author a few years ago, when his previous editor retired.  "I was uncertain. I considered myself a fairly hip young woman" and feared he might not be her cup of literary brew. "But his work blew me away. It's the perfect tone for today."    > Mr. Blockbuster - Sidney Sheldon, 87 and master of the good life, is like his many novels: timeless. By Bettijane Levine, Los Angeles Times Sep 25 2004

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Some people are old at 57. And some people have other things they'd rather do. So I don't think that I should tell people when to retire. I can tell people why I want to die with my boots on. .. Because there's nothing I'd rather do. I like what I'm doing.    > realtor Ebby Halliday "She is one of the people who has defined the modern real estate industry. And, she's still at it, going strong at 90! ... and she has big plans for building up the reserves of the company and for opening new locations. Conductors and classical musicians routinely work full-time into their 80s. Find and do good work every day, as Ebby has. Then you'll be drinking from the Fountain of Youth." > Hattie Bryant - from transcript of her Small Business School tv series - episode on Ebby Halliday Real Estate

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Anthony is a tenured professor, head of the department, who tells me he's "going out of his mind." He's deeply dissatisfied with his life, and wants to change careers. He's desperate for new experiences, for meaning and purpose, and for something new in his life. He is "hamstrung" by a high salary and a less-than-30-hour week with long vacations, but is beginning to see the "price" is not worth it.

Though Anthony happens to actually be a tenured professor, he is representative of many clients I have who are 50 or older. As more Baby Boomers "come of age," the studies about aging continue to pump in lots of new information to counteract former stereotypes. Science is discovering that "old" rats given new toys and new playmates start growing new brain cells, and better brain cells. Imagine! from article What Have You Done for Your Brain Lately -  by Susan Dunn, MA, Emotional Intelligence Coach & Consultant see ebooks by Susan Dunn on emotional intelligence resources

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It is interesting to note how rarely the term 'development' is used to describe changes in the later years. Despite current emphasis on a lifespan perspective, change in later years is still typically described as 'aging.' In the same way, although the word 'day' can refer to the twenty-four hour span, we normally use it to refer to only the brighter hours. 'Aging' has come to refer to the darker side of growing older. To make changes in later life one must fight against all sorts of popular mindsets.   from book: Ellen J. Langer, PhD. Mindfulness

 

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.. .. To write the script for the recent comedy "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen," Gail Parent, who is in her early 60s, had to think and speak like a 15-year-old.  Colloquialisms aside, a teenager and a mature woman have different concerns.  "When you're in high school, what's really important is that other people like you and accept you," Parent says.  "As you get older, you learn that not everyone is going to like you, and it's OK. But that teenage drama queen is in me. What changes is the amount of physical energy."  Parent has mind-leaped into other ages before: In the '80s, she was on the writing staff of "The Golden Girls." She visited the "Confessions" set in Toronto on the first day of production, wearing a khaki-green jacket she'd bought at French Connection.

Lindsay Lohan, the film's 17-year-old star, was dressed in a very similar jacket. "It was like I showed up in wardrobe that wasn't that different from what the hippest kid in high school was wearing," Parent says.  "I have six grandchildren! I was a little embarrassed, but only for a minute. I noticed it, but Lindsay didn't." /// In her 1976 international bestseller, "Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life," Gail Sheehy identified four stages of adulthood, using age as a proxy for experience.  But that construct was less and less defendable as the millennium approached. Case in point: Sheehy deviated from the paradigm she popularized.  She remarried at 49, then adopted a second daughter at 50, a Cambodian orphan who had been her foster child.  In 1995 "New Passages" was published. Sheehy's revised message was that we can customize our adulthood and start over in midlife, as if life were a golf game with unlimited mulligans. from article : The new ideal: forever 35-ish -  By Mimi Avins, LA Times Jun 13 2004

**related page:...-the child self / playing : page 1

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.. .. Barbara Hershey says that she is more relaxed about acting these days, taking herself less seriously than she once did.  And has more fun with it. "I always cared a lot about it and it was always a real NEED for me, rather than just some ambition, but rather an essential need to express myself in this medium.

"So I was always passionate about it and felt that it was sort of the golden thread inside me in terms of what I was supposed to do in terms of work, but I think I have relaxed a lot in terms of the actual experience and actually enjoy it more and enjoy the people more." Though 52, Hershey remains unafraid of the ageing process and how that affects her career, but does feel that Hollywood "is behind the times in terms of age, because what I feel and how it is projected are so different.  "I am not afraid of aging, but more afraid of people's reactions to my aging." from Femail.com.au interview by Paul Fischer

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.. .. ....Jean Shinoda Bolen, MD. Crones Don't Whine:  Concentrated Wisdom for Juicy Women Bolen, a psychiatrist and professor at the University of California Medical School, believes that women need to stand up for their rights, wants and desires and can't afford to be complainers or whiners.  Explains Bolen, the author of The Millionth Circle and Goddesses in Older Women, "To be involved and engaged in life is a juicy proposition. Every juicy crone taps into a wellspring or a deep aquifer of meaning in her psyche."

They are, according to Bolen, smart, compassionate, courageous and humorous.  In these brief essays, she offers commonsense wisdom, calling on women to empower themselves, but also to fight against any emotional demons or problems they have.  For example, in discussing women who have been abused or otherwise have some secret from their past that they're ashamed of, she writes, "At some point in their lives, most remember fearing that this truth would become known.  "Crones, however, also recall when and with whom they broke this taboo of silence as the beginning of feeling whole. To speak the truth is to be able to say, this is who I am."  Fans of Bolen's quirky, spiritual tone will find these words comforting. However, much of the text discusses why women need to be juicy crones without offering much practical advice to improve one's life.         [From Publishers Weekly review]

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The very characteristics found to be associated with older talented women (determination, commitment, assertiveness, and the ability to control their own lives) directly conflict with what some parents encourage as good and appropriate manners in their daughters ...from article "Internal Barriers..." by Sally M. Reis, Ph.D.

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.. The Palm Springs Follies "a three-hour razzle-dazzle, song and dance vaudeville-style extravaganza showcasing the music and dance of the '30s and '40s.  Each.. cast member is age 56 to 86."

Natascha Ahlborn, 68, was born and raised in Berlin, Germany where she began her training in classical ballet. ...  Which aspect of the Follies brings you the greatest joy? "Finally admitting my age... and being proud of it!" Wayne Albritton, 61, returns for his fourth season... Beverly Allen, 86, is a seven-year veteran of the Fabulous Follies and was recently awarded the title of "World's Oldest 'Still Performing' Showgirl" by Guinness World Records. Maxine Asbury - "Never accept that 'age' automatically restricts or limits what you can do!" Maxine Asbury, 83 Her exceptional twirling and acrobatic talents as a teenage drum majorette led to professional dance engagements, which included opening for the Andrews Sisters. more bios & photos on the Palm Springs Follies site

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There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of the people you love.  When you learn to tap this source, you will have truly defeated age. Sophia Loren - quoted in the FundsforWriters newsletter [site] photo Sep 2002 by George Pimentel - © WireImage.com

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You get smarter as you get older. And what could be better?  Being smarter is better than sex. And there was nothing I liked better than sex.  Lauren Hutton , 60    ... [Esquire, January 2004]

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Edward Albee -- The 75-year-old playwright's fluctuating fortunes may be a metaphor for the most elemental kind of show business endurance -- surviving yourself.  Famously prickly and possessed of an idiosyncratic vision, Albee moved from auspicious early career success ("The Zoo Story," "Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?," "A Delicate Balance") to several decades of thorny obscurity and neglect ("The Lady From Dubuque," "The Man Who Had Three Arms").  Unlike Tennessee Williams, who never rebounded, Albee lifted the clouds with the pellucid "Three Tall Women" (1991) and won the Tony last year for "The Goat, or Who Is Sylvia?" from article Survival as art : 20 who defied the odds to follow their muse - SF Chronicle Edward Albee books

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I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming. Suddenly you find - at the age of 50 - that a whole new life has opened before you. Agatha Christie [1890-1976] from newsletter of naww.org National Asssociation of Women Writers ....Agatha Christie books

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Toni Morrison [left] received a Pulitzer Prize for "Beloved" at age 57.  Despite losing a leg (in her early 70s), Sarah Bernhardt continued acting until age 78.  Martha Graham danced until age 75. Anni Albers was the first weaver to have a solo exhibition at the Museum of Modern Art, at age 50, and she published two books and took up print-making after age 60.  Photographer Berenice Abbott was commissioned by MIT to illustrate physics textbooks at age 60, and also developed new photographic techniques and patented several new cameras.

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"The most creative force in the world is the menopausal woman with zest." anthropologist Margaret Mead

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Turning 40 was a milestone in Sela Ward's life. "It was a wonderful moment of owning my womanhood..."  As an actress, Sela's looks matter. At the age of 43, she's starting to see the physical signs of aging on her face...  The question for her when turning 40 was "Am I going to allow these outside prejudices toward age to contaminate how wonderful I feel?"  She believes that women should own where they are on a timeline and embrace the many gifts that age brings. Sela believes women do "great violence" to themselves when they lie about their age. "To create an authentic self is really what we're all striving to do and part of that is owning how old we are." [Oprah.com  July 19, 2000]

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................... .. .. At 65 Laura Ingalls Wilder [left] published Little House In  The Big Woods, the first of her eight-volume Little House series. At 68 Lillian Carter, mother of President Jimmy Carter,  joined the Peace Corps and served two years in India. At 93 Lillian Gish [right] starred in the film The Whales of August At 96 Martha Graham premiered her choreographed work The Maple Leaf Rag ....from book: What's in an Age?: Who Did What When, from Age 1 to 100 by Andrew Postman

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Perhaps the single most reliable finding in our studies is that creative work takes a long time.

With all due apologies to thunderbolts, creative work is not a matter of milliseconds, minutes, or even hours -- but of months, years, and decades...

The creative person cannot simply be driven [but] be drawn to [their] work by visions, hopes, joy of discovery, love of truth, and sensuous pleasure in the creative activity itself.

Howard Gruber. Creative People at Work

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.. .. The first kind of change these 100 creative people, most of them age 70 or above reported, concerns physical and cognitive abilities.  These are the dimensions that we usually think of when we talk about creativity. ... What is interesting is that these answers were half negative and half positive. ...  The negative changes are predictable: "I don't have the energy, I can't travel, I am slower, I don't work as fast, my memory is not as good as it used to be, I make mistakes that I didn't used to make, etc."

While such things were reported, there was an equal number of opposite changes. One respondent stated: "I am now more careful, so that even though I have a tendency to make more mistakes, because I take more care, I make fewer mistakes."  Many people report they have become more understanding. They learn new strategies of thought.  For instance, a Pulitzer Prize poet says, "I probably am a little more trustful of my unconscious instincts than I was before. I am not as rigid as I was, and I can feel it in the quality and the texture of the poems themselves. They are freer grammatically and freer in general design." ... This quote would be a typical response from a businessman or an inventor, too. There would be the same feeling of "I can trust myself more now." There is a sense that one can take more risks, be more adventurous. from article Creativity across the life-span:  A systems view by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi ....Mihaly Csikszentmihaly: Creativity: Flow and the Psychology of Discovery and Invention  photograph: Georgia O'Keeffe in her studio

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Age has given me what I was looking for my entire life -- it gave me me. It provided the time and experience and failures and triumphs and friends who helped me step into the shape that had been waiting for me all my life.  I fit into me now -- mostly. I have an organic life finally, not the one people imagined for me or tried to get me to have... I became more successful in my mid-40s, but this pales compared to the other gifts of this decade -- how kind to myself I have become, what a wonderful, tender wife I am to myself, what a loving companion. Anne Lamott  ... [O, The Oprah Magazine, Oct 2003]   //   Anne Lamott books

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....articles:
 
 
 

Are You Settling? - by Valerie Young This fall marks two momentous occasions. The first is of a personal nature. I'm proud to say that in a few short weeks I'll be joining the ranks of baby boomers turning fifty. ... So why am I so unfazed? Maybe it's because I feel happier, healthier, and in the ways that really count, more attractive than at any other time in my life.

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Creativity in Later Life - by Jeanne Nakamura and Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
How do life-span changes relate to creativity? This question is difficult to answer because there is a tremendous individual variability in how age affects the body and the mind. One of the answers most often given by older creative persons to the question as to what made it possible for them to continue working in old age was some variant of Linus Pauling’s answer. When asked how he could keep up his intense involvement with research at age 89, he quipped: “I chose my grandparents well.” But good genes are not the entire story, because many of the productive senior creators had serious childhood illnesses, and chronic health problems earlier in life, which they seem to overcome at least in part through single-minded dedication to their work. Advanced age in particular can have negative effects on creative work... Nevertheless, there is ample evidence that creativity can be sustained late in life.
> Published in book: R.K. Sawyer & V. John-Steiner. Creativity and Development

Early and late bloomers - by Robert Genn
Economist David Galenson has published several books and countless papers on the genesis of creativity. His conclusions include the startling finding that some of the great artists peak early, while others don't do their best till later on. We are of two main types, he says. Some are quick and dramatic, what he calls conceptual innovators. Others are slow and plodding, what he calls experimental innovators.

The Inside Out Solution - by Douglas LaBier, Ph.D.
A lot of the stress I hear about derives from struggling with the pressures of work and home - and trying to "balance" both. People are framing the problem incorrectly. There is no way to balance work and home, because they exist on the same side of the scale - the "outer" part. Instead of thinking about how to balance work life and home life, try, instead, to balance your outer life and inner life.

Maturity and Creativity - by Douglas Eby
Age and maturity can bring a new level of passion, ability and insight for creative expression. Although some areas that depend on physical performance, or accumulating and processing vast amounts of information, may become less easy or available, many creative endeavors flourish with increasingly varied life experience and the kind of vitality adult development can nurture.

....books:
 

Carolyn E. Adams-Price, PhD. Creativity and Successful Aging: Theoretical and Empirical Approaches

Mary Catherine Bateson. Willing to Learn : Passages of Personal Discovery

Gene D. Cohen. The Creative Age: Awakening Human Potential in the Second Half of Life

Martin S. Lindauer. Aging, Creativity, and Art: A Positive Perspective on Late-Life Development

Melvin E. Miller, Susanne R. Cook-Greuter. Creativity, Spirituality, and Transcendence :
Paths to Integrity and Wisdom in the Mature Self

Melvin E. Miller, Susanne R. Cook. Transcendence and Mature Thought in Adulthood

R.K. Sawyer & V. John-Steiner. Creativity and Development

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