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The Inner Process of Giftedness by Mary Rocamora and Douglas Eby The
inner process
of the gifted is little understood by both the general public and the
gifted
themselves. Stereotypes and misconceptions about giftedness often
prevent
support of those with talents and visions most needed by society. The gifted are typically considered able to fend for themselves, but many face significant challenges and hindrances in realizing their talents. The recent elimination and over-rewarding of valedictorian honors in high schools indicates a continuing ambivalence toward exceptionally talented individuals. High
intelligence
is only one benchmark of giftedness. Gifted and talented individuals
often
live with perfectionism, introversion, idealism, extreme sensitivity,
obsession,
divergent thinking and visionary perception. The inner experience of giftedness can be mistaken for mental illness. There is still much to learn about how to cope with internal stress factors, how to recognize and optimize one's talents and dreams, and how to better communicate with others. Many gifted adults were never identified as such, and many more were impaired by both psychological and circumstantial factors, including gender, race, and cultural background. These issues affect self-actualization at many levels. Abuse is a prominent factor in the inhibition of giftedness. As depicted in the new film of writer and director Mina Shum, "Double Happiness", family attitudes undermine her resolve and drive of a Chinese-American woman, Jade, who is struggling to become an actress . Jade's father continually says, in effect if not directly, "You're just a girl so shut up; you don't have a right to an opinion." This sort of disrespect and erosion of esteem is of course not limited to any particular culture or group, but it may be especially destructive for the gifted, who are often hypersensitive, and especially vulnerable to emotional abuse. Affecting the lives of a number of accomplished creative people is a family undertow: others telling them they are responsible for the ones in the family who aren't so successful: "Your younger brother can't get a job - it's up to you to support them, because you have all this money." The family of successful performers can be like quicksand, and very toxic. The mother of a prominent actress has used her daughter's celebrity status to get media attention for herself, and huge amounts of money. Another actress's mother has no intention of supporting her as a human being; she has this fantasy she is the one who got her daughter an agent and a job, so she owes her. The mother continues to be a predator toward her daughter's career and personal life. This is not atypical for accomplished artists and performers. When they are making a major life change, getting an award or acclaim, in troops the family and they want to take credit. Or if the person has a problem and needs to go to a drug clinic, the family gets together and says, "We knew it all along", rather than giving support to someone in pain. Developing a lifestyle that supports creative expression may include isolating against destructive family members, getting rid of guilt and obligation to support people that don't carry their own weight in life, relating to them as if they have full potential and responsibility to make their own way, just as the gifted individual must do. Though men are not immune to these factors, gifted women are especially vulnerable. Many feminists in the gifted world are up in arms about Gardner's theory of multiple intelligences, because they see him as a sexist. So much of feminism is a detriment to gifted development, because it claims special consideration, like a golf handicap - it says, "Oh, you're a woman? You should deserve a handicap; pick up your clubs and go out to the field, but when all is said and done, you don't have to perform like other people." But don't women want to forge their own identity, want to perform like others, without special consideration? Another
issue
is personal control. If you are in a profession where you have to wait
to be called upon to perform or create, you can't just go develop a
project
on your own; basically you're in a holding pattern, waiting for your
abilities
to be tapped. Actors, for example, have to wait for someone to call,
and
are examples of talented people who struggle with the issue of being
underutilized. Other gifted people are self-generated, can be their own driver, go create on their own, write a book, do a painting. The gifted are a neglected segment of the population who would be better able to contribute if their own needs were met, if they were supported and revered, given the attention and nurture their exceptional talents needed. They would be able to do what they are here to accomplish, to the benefit of all. ~~~ originally published in Lament, the Los Angeles area Mensa newsletter ~ ~ ~ |
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