perfectionism, perfectionist, extremely high standards, dealing with perfectionism, overcoming perfectionism

Have people ever criticized you for being too much of a perfectionist? 

Have you identified with remarks such as, “I’m such a perfectionist.  I can never do anything halfway.” 

Does that one slightly creased corner of a paper annoy you so much you decide to do the whole thing over? 

And are you really upset when someone doesn’t fold the towels/hang the tools your (perfect) way? 

If so, here’s a new paradigm for you to consider.

Think about money.  Everyone knows that there is nothing inherently good or bad about the specific dollar bills you may be holding in your hand: it all depends on what use you make of it. 

Perfectionism is similar.  The issue isn’t whether or not being a perfectionist is good or bad: it’s what you decide to be perfectionist about! 

Or put it another way: If you’ve always been a perfectionist, go for it!  Just remember, you need to rise to the challenge and be a perfect perfectionist!  We don’t want any imperfect perfectionism!

What is a perfect perfectionist?  Someone who knows when to apply 25% perfection, when 50%, when 75% and when the full, all-out 100%! 

Let’s take an obvious example: Say you are eager to sell your quaint Vermont home on the village common during foliage season, when wealthy people from New York and California come to New England. 

Given how important first drive-by impressions are, you might well be out there raking your front yard with the proverbial fork, making it look absolutely perfect.

However, if your grandmother asked you to rake her back forty and you proceeded to do that in the same way, you’d have fallen into the trap of imperfect perfectionism.

That sounds pretty obvious, but if you’re anything like me and many, many of my coaching clients, you may act like an imperfect perfectionist almost without thinking about it, just from deeply ingrained habit. 

In my case, for example, I remember the night before I was to give a major workshop at the University of Massachusetts.  It was late by the time I had collated and stapled all the materials and arranged them in their proper order in the folders.

But as I was in the process of boxing them up, I noticed something that made me wince: Somehow, someway, the footer at the end of one page was flush left rather than centered like all the others!

Now everyone knows that there’s no way one can hand out material with an error like that to a university audience.  Obviously I would need to do the page over.   Which meant I would have to take all the material out again, remove each staple, remove the page, make a corrected page, insert it and begin the process of collating and stapling, etc., all over again!

Despite the fact that it was already quite late, the old imperfect perfectionist me would have set about doing just that and been up half the night. 

However, when I actually thought about it, I realized I had two choices:  I could go into the workshop with perfect materials and little sleep, or I could leave that footnote where it was and go to bed. 

Which would actually matter more to the participants, my secretarial skills or my energy level?  Put that way, it was clear that I should be a perfect perfectionism and not aim for 100% perfection.

So the next time you feel the need to do something “perfectly,” take a moment and ask yourself, “What degree of perfection would a perfect perfections aim for?”

Is this a case of front yard or back forty? 

Are you being perfect as a typist or as an energetic workshop presenter? 

Obviously those are extremes, but once you get the hang of identifying these, you’ll find it quite easy to distinguish between the subtler fifty or seventy-five percent categories.

And if I haven’t explained this perfectly, feel free to call me on it!

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Thanks to the author for providing this article.

Margaret Lobenstine, M.A., author of THE RENAISSANCE SOUL: Life Design for People With Too Many Passions to Pick Just One (Random House/Broadway, 2006) works by phone and in person with people trying to design a life that truly works for them. 

Margaret coaches, speaks, and gives workshops throughout the U.S., England & Canada. 

To learn more about her work, visit Renaissance Soul Life Design.

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Photo:  Wayne Gould helped Sudoku become a global phenomenon by developing a computer program over the course of six years to generate endless variations of the puzzle.

“Once I take on a project, I see it through to the end,” he says.

“The trouble is that I’m a perfectionist. I’m slowed down by that. It’s a terrible combination, having an interest in everything and being a perfectionist.”

> From the page Perfectionism.